Local Install Windows - JBoss error - Caused by: org.hibernate.HibernateException: Could not find datasource Caused by: javax.naming.NameNotFoundException: java:jdbc/AppianDS

I have tried everything I can possibly think of all day every day for a week.  NOTHING has worked.

The datasource is set up correctly.  I'm loggin in to MySQL right now.  I'm not using the wrong name for the schema.  I don't have the wrong password.  I used command prompt to log into MySQL instance to confirm.

I've altered and redeployed custom.properties a million times.

conf.data.APPIAN_DATA_SOURCE=java:jdbc/AppianDS

conf.data.APPIAN_DATA_SOURCE=jdbc/AppianDS

conf.data.APPIAN_DATA_SOURCE=appian_schema

conf.data.APPIAN_DATA_SOURCE=jdbc/appian_schema

I've tried all of these and made sure appian-mysql-ds.xml.dev matches every time.  EVERYTHING causes a NameNotFoundException.

I know it's not my licenses because I've already updated them once.

I updated standalone.xml EXACTLY the way the Configuring Relational Databases told me to.  Look!

I know it's not my FQDN because I've changed it 3 different times.  My computer name, "localhost", and '127.0.0.1" do nothing.

And I've already checked several times to make sure my mysql connector jar is in the right place.

Someone please come up with something I haven't tried.